Dear Santa
by Katie Potatey
Summary: Travis and Katie write their wish list for Santa.


**A Tratie Christmas, two-shot. Unedited. Merry Christmas!**

**I don't own Percy Jackson. You should know that by now…**

Ok. Sup Santa. How's the weather in the Pole of the North? (Or is that too formal?)  
>Anywho, what do I want for Christmas? Well, I'm seventeen and writing a wish list. What does that tell you? Ok. Let us start of with the usual.<p>

• Pranking stuff. I'm thinking, you should bring out the works, big guy. Honestly. I'm more mature. I promise. I'm just an angel. I can handle it. Much better than Connor, which is why you give him the crappy stuff, and give the good stuff to me. There's an extra cookie in it for you.

• Food. And lots of it. I'm thinking lollies, chocolate, Redvines, some Coke (and yes, I know that's not food, but honestly? Are you serious?), and you can surprise me. Just nothing healthy. I will take away that cookie.

• Fireworks. Now that will be fun. I can see the possibilities now. Santa, please note: my eyes are glazing over and I'm looking at no particular thing. Just so you know.

• A lawn mower. 'Cause y'know, the Demeter campers won't let me borrow theirs and how am I going to mow their cabin roof? I'm not magic. I'm just magical. Big boy, I'm sure you know what I mean. *wink, wink.* *nudge, nudge.*

• A potato. One like Percy's pen. So, like, I could throw it at people, and then it would come right back to me. That'll be fun.

• A talking cat. Actually, no. Cats are lame. A talking parrot... Ok, turns out parrots already talk. Hmm... I got it! A talking llama.

• Those sucky things that let you walk up walls. It'll really help when trying to steal something (not that I do that. I'm a good boy). And I can be totally ninja with it.

What else? Oh, I know!  
>• Connor. Gone. Far away.<p>

• Time travel machine. Oh, and one of those universal remotes that let you pause time. Y'know, from that Adam Sandler movie. I love that movie.

Have I said food? Oh well. Make sure I have food.

• Paintball gun. That will help with the potato that comes back. Or just to pelt annoying people with paint that hurts (*cough* Connor*).

• World Domination. But if it costs too much, don't worry about it. It's not a top priority. Yet.

• To let me live for another year. Hell, the year after that too. Maybe for a while...

• My own personal chef. Like my own mini Jamie Oliver. He can cook the food you bring. And his accent is so cool. Yes, kidnap Jamie Oliver for me.

• Also, you should kidnap Chuck Norris. If anyone could do it, you could, Santa. Actually, no. You couldn't. Just forget it.

• A girl. Make it a hot one. Not that I can't get a girl here, but honestly? It's just the same old, same old. I want some spice in my life.

• A Jamaican man. So that whenever I say something, afterwards, he can just go, "Yah, mon."

• A car. Preferably one that transforms into a kick ass robot, that will save the world. If you get me this, you can forget about the girl. I mean, the hot girl comes in the package, right? Please make sure the car's a Ferrari. Or just a fast car. Or a cool one. Just, yeah. Not a crappy car.

• Tickets to see Nitro Circus, live. 'Cause they are just... fudge monkily awesome. And yes, I know 'monkily' is not a word, but aren't you just the picky one, Santa?

Oh gods. I'm actually writing on a piece of paper, thinking I'm talking to Santa. Who isn't real! Godsdammit! (See what I did there?)

• My sanity. See paragraph above if you believe I still have it. Trust me. I don't.

Santa? You want to know another reason I'm not sane? I think I might like Katie Gardner. Yeah, yeah, I know we're enemies, and she still pisses the crap out of me (wow, that sounds wrong), but, y'know how above, I said I wanted a girl who put spice in my life? I think that spice might be in the form of Katie Gardner.

Further proof that I don't have my sanity.

So, last but not least,  
>• Katie Gardner. I mean, c'mon! A guy can dream.<p>

**Katie's should be up around Thursday! I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews let Travis get what he wants. !**

**~ Katie Potatey**


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